and the Lord says wait

Wow what a crazy process it has been to finally get where I am at.  I was accepted in the spring time to be a short-term missionary with Africa Inland Mission.  I went to my orientation in June, had a placement to go in September and be in Windhoek for 6+ months working with children’s ministry.  Some time before I went to orientation I thought many times and wondered why I had chosen to apply as a short-termer when I knew that God is calling me to missions for quite a while, somewhere and somehow.  Maybe I was afraid to take that large step.  But I’ve realized I should have just done that anyway.  But I know that even though I had plans lined up, support coming in, and circumstances working themselves out around the clock, I thought this was it.  And, it could have been.  The Lord is so faithful and continually let’s me choose a path knowing that I’m doing it to serve Him.  He’s okay with that because He continually trusts me with the decisions I’ve made.  By the time I got to Orientation in New York I realized that maybe I wouldn’t be leaving till January and I had less detail than I expected.  I was disappointed and frustrated why this had to take so long.  For me, I like details because I want to be able to share them with my supporters, friends, family, and know myself to become more prepared mentally.  By the end of orientation, my thoughts were saying, what is the point of going short-term now, only be able to stay a year, come back, then re-apply to long-term.  Why don’t I just speed up the process a bit and go long-term now.

It turns out, the long-term process is quite lengthy, and because I thought I was getting close to knowing all the details, I’m back to step 1.  A new application to fill out, new paperwork to sign, Candidate Week I have to attend which means I dont even know if I’ll be accepted till October, and a new interview.  Why repeat all of this?  I realize that short-term is for those who only want to or can go for a couple months, or even up to a year.  Long-term means supporters are financially supporting you monthly, and its a real investment into people’s lives and hearts.  If anything, I know where my heart is at and that is to pour myself into people’s lives.  I don’t want to do another “visit” but I want to LIVE with them and completely give my whole life to these people I’m serving as Christ leads me on.

That said, I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything.  One blessing though is that I am ahead of the game for support.  Normally long-termers dont start support-raising till after Candidate week when they are accepted, but I guess I’m sort of already part of AIM.  This is a huge blessing actually, and makes me kind of laugh how God got me to this exact moment.

I hope I know what I’m doing.  I hope I dont have to live at home for more than I can take.  I hope I dont get to anxious and uneasy.  And I PRAY and BELIEVE that God will get me where He wants me as He provides EVERY SINGLE ITEM and DOLLAR that I need at that perfect time.

Lord, I love You and I honor Your Name and only Yours.

(The countries where AIM works, including Muslim countries that cannot be shown publicly)


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