im ready

Many thoughts are completely overtaking my mind as I wonder what is going to happen as I head to Haiti.  Okay, that sounds bad.  I mean, “wonder what is going to happen” as in what is the Lord going to do through me while Im there, how can I change one person’s life, how am I going to be changed?  I made the choice to serve in Haiti this summer for an indefinite amount of time because I can.  Nothing is holding me back- no boyfriend, no apartment lease, no professional job….nothing.  Now of course I’ll miss my friends and family all the time, and I will somewhat miss a bit of being comfortable here.  But it doesnt stop me, because being uncomfortable and pushing myself to overcome my weaknesses and being in a new culture and environment where something is always different and changing—well, I’m ready and completely head over heels for this. (Haha, and no that expression shouldn’t just be used for your love relationships).  I thrive on change.

I’ve found myself getting too comfortable back into my American culture.  In Mali, I really enjoyed living out of 2 suitcases.  I really enjoyed not needing much at all.  I really enjoyed (generally speaking) the hard and difficult and uncomfortable situations because it stretched me.  Isnt that what this is all about?  Being stretched.  God strengthening our weaknesses.  God calls the weak right?  Well, I am pretty weak and know that I cant do much on my own.  But the Lord has really found a way to impress a passion upon my heart to PUSH myself (my determined personality) no matter what it is.  Language has always been hard for me, and I have never really enjoyed it, but Im going to PUSH myself to do it.  Im so comfortable with kids in another culture, but with adults I feel a little bit more uneasy, but Im going to PUSH myself to get away from the shyness I still hold in specific situations.

I never thought I would come to this moment right now, again.  I had the freedom to change my life and the Lord has honored that choice that I have made because He has SHUT all the other doors and opened this one to Living Waters.  If anything, these children and these Haitians dont need me whatsoever….I find myself needing them instead.  I feel deprived spiritually.  I feel lost and at most a “lukewarm” Christian.  I hate that.  And yet why is it that God-fearing believers in such rough and unstable circumstances and situations have a passion and burning heart for the Lord.  What is wrong with me?  I sooo desire to LEARN from them and discover that passion again.  Where did it go? Am I so wrapped up in my own small problems, my own world and selfishness, that I cant even look past it to see what a true need is?

Lord, I need to be rebroken and rehealed and completely give everything up, again and again.

I think mostly about what I have to come back to when I choose to come back home from Haiti.  To me, there seems no reason or point, of course I cant see the bigger picture nor anything that far ahead of me (that’s probably good!) So…..?

packing for Haiti

Wow I cannot believe its already here.  One week from Saturday I leave Nebraska! Im heading down to Houston first for a couple of days to see some friends then I’ll be in Port-au-Prince by June 7th (early afternoon).  I am SOOO excited, and beyond excited that the Lord has opened this door for me to go.  I still am unsure how long I will end up staying.  I have enough support for 3 full months, but Im kind of thinking that if I fall in love with this children and this ministry, it may be pretty difficult to come back! I will just let the Lord lead me and show me when it is time to come back!  I am also having a hard time leaving my job.  I dont even call it a job anymore, although it is work taking care of a 1 and 3 year old, I have soooo fallen in love with these kids even through the days that were completely unbearable and miserable!  I have learned how to put their needs above my own, as s elfish as I am, and am still working on that.  Im glad I have seen a small glimpse into parenting and what it takes.  Im so thankful for the experience and have a sad heart because I am leaving them, and I made that choice, but I do trust God in providing a new place to work when I get home (whenever that is!)  Soo I took some photos of my suitcases.  One is completely full of supplies for the kids and craft/activities for me to teach them!  The other one is making its way up in pounds as I continue to choose what I want to bring with me to wear, etc.  Oh and of course, the skittles chapstick! It was donated by my boss and friend but I know the girls are gonna love ‘em.  I cant wait to pamper them as girly girls always are–nail polish, manicures, lip gloss, headbands, and all!  Oh, and NEW underwear.  Hopefully they fit!

another step of faith

It is finally official.  Towards the end of April I made a decision to spend the summer in Haiti (3-4 months) and I have finally now just purchased the ticket.  With my very indecisive personality I told myself I just needed to pick a day so i finally did.  At first I was thinking the very first day of June and then I decided to make a stop in Houston, Texas and visit some great friends for a few days ON my way to Haiti! I’ll be seeing at least 3-4 different friends! Im totally excited and have never been to Houston before!  So I purchased my ticket for June 7th and will leave at 6am in the morning and get to Miami and PAP by 2:00 in the afternoon.  Sounds like a great couple flights to me! I’ve been searching for a while and tonight I told myself I was just going to purchase it (especially since I’ve received enough support to cover it so far so why wait?).  I have been talking to Sara, the director at the orphanage of Living Water Haiti Ministries, and she is super excited that I am coming just as I feel as well.  I really do thank the Lord for the opportunity and open door.  I didnt just come upon it, I did seek it out because I really just need a change up in my life right now for many reasons, and serving overseas seemed to make my heart grow larger! I believe the Lord does open doors and close doors.  Many times He doesnt give us a yes so we take a step of faith and walk through it.  Other times He gives us a huge NO and then we know!  Well this door was wide open so I chose to walk through it and see what happened.  I know the Lord has His hand on this and Im excited to see Him shape and stretch me just that much more within a couple of months.  I pray I can be a vessel of light for Himself as well.

Thanks to all of you who pray and support what Christ is doing through me.  I am still in need of financial support and some supplies for the children.  Contact me if you have questions!

In His glory alone,

Amanda

Haiti: A letter to my Supporters

Dear Friends and Family

I write to you today for one specific purpose.  I need your support in this next journey of my life and I cannot do it without you.

Back in October, I attended Candidate Week for Africa Inland Mission.  It was my intention to become a full-term missionary with them.  After making some great friends and learning more about AIM, unexpectedly I was asked to wait and do some additional training.  Because the Lord said not yet, it was a hard answer to accept.  After all, I had been planning to go with AIM right after I graduated college last year and now what was I supposed to do?

Am I still headed to Namibia, Africa?  Yes!  My heart is still very much focused on the calling to serve there.  I have been delayed since October, but am expecting to become appointed as a full-term missionary with AIM in the next two months.  My expected departure date will be in 2013.

In the mean time, I have been working as a nanny for two children, ages 1 and 3.  I am also teaching 1st and 2nd grade Sunday School.  The love and experience I have gained for these children has prepared me that much more for children’s ministry in the future.  I’m so thankful for this experience– the joys and challenges.

In mid-April my friend, Hannah, shared an opportunity with me.  A friend of hers, Sarah, resides in Port-au-Prince, Haiti with her husband and children’s ministry called Living Water Haiti Ministries.  It is focused on caring for orphans who need the sweet love of parents but more so of Jesus.  Yves and Sarah started this orphanage just back in the fall of 2011.  At this time they have 7 children and a couple staff.  As this door has widely-opened for me, I have chosen to take a step of faith and walk through it.  I am bursting with joy at the thought of ministering to these sweet children and allowing the Lord to shape me even more in preparation for my future with AIM long-term.  Diving into a new culture with completely new people is quite overwhelming, but I cannot think of a better way to spend my life serving Jesus Christ in this way.  I plan to head to Haiti in early June and return in August or September as a short-term missionary.

Living Water Haiti Ministries has a great need for an Activities Coordinator to plan and focus on activities and crafts for the children.  I nearly jumped at this opportunity because it is so much like me!  She also has other needs such as training staff in childcare, ministering to neighbor kids, etc.  If you would like to learn more about this orphanage run by Yves and Sarah Dorismar visit http://livingwaterhaiti.weebly.com.

I humbly ask you to be a part of this journey with me.  Prayerfully consider how you could be a part of it.  If you feel led to give financially (approximately $400/month), contact me.  I will continue to update this blog with news on the field.

In His glory alone,

Amanda Larsen

Come Away My Beloved: The Secret of Silence

My Child, let not the words of others influence thee unduly—either their praise or their criticism.  Weigh each for its proper value, and come back to Me again.  Only in communion with Me can ye be sure of the truth.  If I correct thee, ye know it is for thy betterment.  If I encourage thee with a word of praise, it is because I know ye need it; so rejoice in it and accept it as a wholeheartedly as ye accept My rebukes.

Ye know My rebukes are for thy benefit. Can ye not believe that My words of commendation are for the same purpose?  Some of thy faults and weaknesses can best be helped and corrected by praise rather than by reproof. When ye turn a deaf ear in an effort to be humble, you are not helping. Ye cannot be truly humble until ye have a deep sense of being loved.

Knowing and truly feeling that such great love is not merited in the face of thy many imperfections will generate more honest humility than a thousand rebukes for obvious failures. Ye are condemned already by thine own heart. There is a subtle pride that seeks to hide these glaring imperfections in the effort to hold some vestige of self-esteem and invoke the respect of others.  This is a craftiness of the enemy.

If ye will accept My love and My approval, ye shall be given courage to face thy sins and faults and deal with them with more decisiveness.  The more ye find of the truth about thine own self, the more ye shall be set free…free of improper evaluations of thy worth and false pride that seeks to cover recognized flaws.

I want your life and character and personality to be as beautiful and lovely as I visualized it to be when I created you. Much has not developed perfectly. Some early beauty has been marred. Live close to Me, and let me re-mold and re-create until I see in thee the image of all I want thee to be!

I love thee, My Child–My very dear and special child. Through thy childhood years I walked very close to thee, and in thy childlike way e were very conscious of My presence and reality. Ye have made an arduous journey. Ye have climbed many a mountain that ye could easily have walked around. Ye have not chosen the pleasant path nor sought joys though they were readily accessible.

Ye have often misconstrued My will and felt that only in sacrifice and suffering ye could please Me, whilst much of the time I have longed to deliver thee out of the very pains ye thus inflicted upon thyself. Ye meant to please Me, but in truth ye were only marring thine own beauty–which is precious to Me.

I cannot rejoice in a blighted rose. Ye have gone far enough in this way. I offer thee My path now, if ye are strong enough to accept it.  Life and liberty and love and joy. Health and peace—simplicity and rest. It has been there for you all along. You can have it even now if ye will.

I dont want you to work for Me under pressure and tension like a machine—striving to produce, produce.  I want you to just LIVE with ME as a PERSON. I have waited for you to wear yourself out. I knew you would eventually—the secret of silence and rest, of solitude and of song.

I will rebuild your strength–not to work again in foolish frenzy, but just for the sake of making you strong and well.  To Me this is an end in itself. Make it your aim and join with Me wholeheartedly in the project. “Many joys are waiting yet.”

—Jesus

Band of Rescuers- Rescuing God’s Cast System, His Royalty; An Obvious Solution

I’m super motivated tonight.  I just listened to Eric Ludy’s message “The Band of Rescuers” and of course I was completely humbled and wrecked by it.  Even more convicted, which just means the Lord just awakened me once more and with much more motivation this time.  Since 12th grade of high school, the Lord has pressed on my heart mission work.  Rescuing.  Ever since then it is something that I cannot go a day without thinking and pondering and wondering when the Lord will call me back overseas.  Especially at a hard time in my life right now as I’m waiting patiently to go, I ask myself “What can I do in the mean time to rescue God’s cast system?”  (These are my notes).

If you haven’t heard of Eric Ludy.  You better move your butt over to the ministry him and his wife and family are doing.  Google “Ellerslie” and watch those short-films and sermons he posts weekly.  Although he is human like all of us, he is a radical follower of Jesus Christ.  For me, I’m tired of meeting people and even just BEING a “Christian” on the sideline.  I want more.  There is MORE and we know it.  But we are so self-centered in our own little world in our own little house.

God’s cast system are the royalty.  The world recognizes the royalty in an opposing view.  God sees the weak, the lowly, the orphan, the widow, etc.  He asks us to SERVE the royal.  To RESCUE the royal.

Matthew 25:  “…and the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, in as much as you have done it unto one of the least of these my brethern, you have done it unto me.”

Eric’s boy asked him “What’s an orphan? What made them orphans? Can we bring them back here and have them live with us?”  He was 3 1/2 years old.  I’m completely blown away by what children see through their lens.  Remember why God said the chosen and special ones are the children.  This boy was willing to give up his very best for this little orphan he didn’t even know.  Why do adults rationalize this? “Oh it costs so much to adopt, I don’t think God has called me to this, but they live so far away, I dont want more children…”  Do we continually make excuses?  But God has COMMISSIONED us to reach out!  To a little child, there was no question about this.  If a child doesn’t have a mommy and daddy, why wouldn’t we bring him home so the child could share his/her mommy and daddy?

The simplicity of a child sees what needs to be done, Eric says.  Children see that injustice, they know something is wrong and want to fix it and it just doesn’t make sense we we adults wouldn’t do anything about it!  WE NEED TO RETHINK THIS WHOLE THING.

So what is the solution?  Adults, are we rationalizing and figuring out the details before we accept such a challenge?  Adults, are we saying “yes I’m willing” or are we saying “others are called to this sort of thing, i’ll let someone else do it”.  The SOLUTION IS OBVIOUS.  Can’t we see it?  It’s amazing how obvious it can be to a child.  We need to stoop down and understand and listen to these children.  The LORD works through them.  These actions of Christians are so obvious but we make too many adult answers.

We need to give up our rights.  Our rights to everything.  In Mali, for a class we had to read a book that allowed us to rethink the rights we did have, we really don’t have anymore.  For example: the right to a normal standard of living, the right to safety and security which we highly take for granted in the US, the right to privacy and our own time, and physical health and much more.  But God asks us to submit these, and instead to be ready in our souls, minds, and bodies for whatever task lies ahead of us.

A Seeming Contradiction: are we saved by works or grace?  No, we are not saved by either.  We are saved by Christ’s blood alone, by the work on the cross.  That was His grace to us.  But we can go to heaven with receiving no blessings down on earth.  Christ wants us to live life abundantly and to the FULLEST, not on the sideline as a “Christian”.  The RESCUER lives in you.  Not only Jesus living in you, but Jesus giving you the power, strength and HEART to rescue His cast system, His royalty.  Yes I know this may be “inconvenient” to alot of us. Was the cross convenient to God though?  Did He really want to leave His Mighty position in Heaven and lower Himself onto this earth?  No, but He had to! It was the ONLY way.  Christ EMBRACED the convenient.

Discipleship 101:

1. The Word of God must be our primary foundation to living.

2. The Gospel is the first work. We were rescued and filled with Christ.

3.  Honor- to live as Jesus did as He lives in and through us.

4. Intercession is the rescue work, it is where we pour ourselves out, it is the INCONVENIENCE.

“Caring is evidenced in our behavior”.  We can say we care that people are dying and going to hell, that the devil is swallowing up the cast system (the weak) faster than we can speak, but do we really care?  We must act!

“Burden Me Lord, I am willing.”

In the army/military, there are 3 types of protection groups.  They are all ordered to win and protect the weak though.  The Advanced or Van Guard is in the front-line, they lead the troops, it is a difficult position, but it is significant.  Secondly, the main or Middle Guard is the section where most of the soldiers are at.  Thirdly, the Rear Guard protects the backside, or the weak.

Proverbs 31:8-9 says “Open your mouth for the speechless, in the cause of all who are appointed to die.  Open your mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.”  We are COMMISSIONED by GOD to take up the Rear Guard.  If we take up the cause the enemy cannot defeat us.  Satan’s mission is to destroy everybody, but he starts with the WEAK and the SLOW, the easiest prey.

WE WILL ALL GO TO THE WEAK BECAUSE OF THIS!

But remember, the body of Christ is about rescuing the weak, but we are also about more than rescuing the weak.  The Church needs to be our body of TRUTH to stand in such terrible times.  It has to live on God’s Word alone!

Remember, all to the glory of God.

“I’m the kind of person who sees owies and fixes them”, as Eric’s son said. 

Three types of people:

1. We see owies and fix them.

2. We see owies and don’t fix them.

3.  We cannot see other’s owies so we cannot fix them.

What sort are you? One or the other? A little bit of everything?  We ought to learn from Job.

Don’t think someone else is going to do it.  Who is?  If we don’t, (“we” as in true followers of Christ), then who will.  There aren’t many of us!!!!!

STAND NO MATTER WHAT.  You shouldn’t have to stand alone, the Church of Christ is the body band of rescuers, but if no one else stands, YOU STAND ALONE.

We are BIG in this battle.  God says so.  But Satan says otherwise.

What are you gonna do now?

http://ellerslie.com/Eric_Ludy_Sermons/Entries/2012/1/15_The_Band_of_Rescuers.html